What Are You Choosing Without Realizing It?

How much of your day do you actually choose?

Not theoretically.

Actually.

We all develop routines and patterns that make life easier. We need them. Imagine consciously deciding how to perform every tiny task from the moment you wake up.

But autopilot doesn't only take over brushing our teeth or driving familiar streets.

It can show up in our relationships, work, boundaries and emotional responses too.

We automatically say yes.

We automatically apologize.

We automatically take care of everyone else.

We automatically push through exhaustion.

We automatically reach for our phones when we're uncomfortable.

We automatically return to people, situations and behaviors that are familiar—even when they're no longer particularly good for us.

Eventually a repeated response can feel less like a choice and more like that's just what I do.

One of the things I appreciate about somatic work is that it creates a little space between the stimulus and our usual response.

Instead of immediately doing what we've always done, we notice.

What happens inside your body when someone asks something of you?

Does something tighten?

Do you hold your breath?

Does your chest feel open?

Do you suddenly feel heavy?

Does your body want to move closer—or farther away?

None of those sensations necessarily dictate what you should do.

They're information.

And when we become better at noticing that information, we have an opportunity to interrupt autopilot.

You can pause before automatically saying yes.

You can notice when you're overriding yourself.

You can recognize a familiar pattern while you're actually inside of it instead of three days later.

That's where choice begins to become conscious again.

Try something today.

Before making a decision—even a small one—give yourself a few seconds.

Notice your breath.

Notice your body.

Notice your immediate impulse.

And then ask:

Is this what I actually want to choose, or is this simply what I usually choose?

You may be surprised by the difference.

Continue Reading: Have You Ever Asked Yourself: How Did I Get Here?